I heard this song by Daughtry on my Ipod today while working out at the gym. It got me thinking.
Nearly seven years ago I left the area where I grew up (Upstate New York--waaay upstate) to move to southern Utah. I made the move with my husband, our cat (who passed away shortly after her arrival out west) and parrot after years of just not feeling right in my own skin. Although I had family ties there, I hated the winters. I refused to drive in winter and didn't care much for it the rest of the year either. I'd never been a confident driver. I didn't like to get out and about in the snow and ice; I don't ski or skate or snowboard. Winter was just a long, miserable season for me. When Jim got hurt in a fall (See, Flying Safety: Remember to Move!) it was bone chilling cold outside. Three feet of newly fallen soft snow around him and he had to land on the concrete walkway in front of our house. When he was discharged from the hospital we stayed with my mom on the family farm. The wind whips through there like crazy. One day when we got back from taking Jim for a check up, the car got stuck in the driveway and wouldn't budge. My mom helped Jim to the house about, say, 20 feet from the car. I stayed behind and waited for her to come back to help me inside. I stood hip-deep in snow (well, that's not that high--I'm only 4'8"--but it was bad enough) waiting for her to come back and help me. I could feel my face freezing. The wind was blowing so hard, I nearly fell over. Right then and there I told myself I was getting the heck out of snow country. Somehow, some way, I'd leave this place I'd called home for most of my life.
It was too limiting. I was afraid to walk around in the snow and ice since my balance wasn't the greatest. I'd taken more tumbles than I could count. Luckily I hadn't gotten badly hurt, but as I got older, I feared that I'd start breaking bones. But it wasn't just the snow. Every other season of the year bothered me as well. Bug season, mud season, sticky yucky humid summer season. I got literally ill each summer from the humidity. I also have rosacea which hated the climate in New York. Wind, rain, frosty air, humidity--it didn't matter. My skin was generally unhappy. I couldn't take it anymore.
I had always been close to my mom, and there was a time when I thought I'd never leave. She protected me--admittedly probably too much, but I couldn't fault her for caring. I'd spent my life dealing with spina bifida, balance issues, self-esteem issues, surgeries, shyness, and dependence. But it was time to grow up--way past time to do so, in fact. My insides were telling me to leave. I needed a change, big time.
After quite a bit of research, we ended up in southern Utah. I'd never lived that far from where I grew up, but I was ready. The minute I set foot in southern Utah, I felt at home. I felt safe. I absolutely loved the beautiful desert landscape, the warm tempertures, and sunshine. Yes, it was hot, but it was dry. That made all the difference. I loved it!
There were cultural differences, for sure, but we've met some of the nicest people here. Feeling safe was so important.
The first order of business was to get used to driving in the city. It's not a huge city, but it's much bigger than I'd ever driven in. At least I didn't have to worry about driving in snow. That was a significant perk. Jim gave me lessons, mostly on quiet Sunday mornings when the city streets were deserted, and slowly I learned to feel fairly comfortable driving. That was such a rush! Back in New York, I'd had either my mom or my husband drive me most places even in small towns, and here I was in a city of about 70,000 people, driving all over town.
The next order of business was getting into shape. I was pushing 50 at the time and feeling blah. Overweight, not obese. But still, I didn't feel good. I didn't have a lot of energy. I found out that there was a gym right down the street from our apartment and it was affordable. I'd imagined gyms being really expensive, so when I found out otherwise, I had my mind set on joining.
I felt weird going for my first meeting at the gym, but it was one of the best decisions I made. The staff and trainers were supportive, upbeat, and welcoming. The place was energizing and I got in the best shape of my life. I'd never have joined a gym in New York.
Moving to Utah changed me for the better. I'm healthier, happier, have wonderful friends, and have gotten involved in community. Utah is home. So, yes, some people run away from their old lives only to find out that they are still the same on the inside and their problems have followed them. But, I can say that honestly didn't happen to me. I'm better on the inside and outside for making the move.
You have to go with your gut when making major decisions like this. Think it through. If you need to make a change, find a way to do it. If you're not happy with your weight, how you look or feel, your energy level, do what you have to to make the change to a healthier lifestyle. You don't necessarily need to make a big move like I (and my husband) did. Do what feels right. Think it out. Talk with your family. Review your options. Make the decision that works for you.
Here is a link to the Daughtry song that inspired this blog post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEjfWhyz-qg
Fitness is fun. It can be. Honest! But there was a time when I couldn't seem to find the fun in it. Actually, for the last four years I've faltered. There have been times when I've gone for long walks with my husband nearly every night and hit 10,000 steps--sometimes more--daily but weight training fell by the wayside. Then both fell off pretty much completely except for occasional hikes with my husband or walks with friends. The reasons? Here's what I think happened.
Got Certified: I enjoyed fitness so much that I decided to get certified as a personal trainer myself. I loved the NASM course. It challenged me. There was a good bit of anatomy and physiology in the course work, and some chemistry, none of which I had taken before. I had to work my butt off, and I loved it. My trainer encouraged me and quizzed me. Others at the gym were supportive as well. I passed the test on the first try. I was thrilled. Then it came to applying for trainer jobs and...nothing. Well, not nothing exactly. I did get a couple interviews. But I didn't even apply until months after I passed my test because I wanted to wait until after we got back from visiting my mom. What was that all about? My brain function was a tad low at the time. That's the only reason I can think of for why I'd wait so long to apply. And it may have cost me a job. I knew a training manager who was enthusiastic and I was pretty sure he'd at least give me a chance to prove myself as a trainer. Well, by the time I applied he had moved on to different position in another city. I never got the chance to find out for sure. I got frustrated. I had a well-respected certification but no one would hire me. Was I too old? Was it because I didn't have experience? Was it because I walked funny? Or was I too chunky? I didn't know.
Trainers Left: One by one, the trainers who worked at the gym when I first joined left. I didn't click as well with the new crew. Some were okay, and all my trainers were decent over the years, but that first crew just couldn't be beat. Every one of them were friendly and supportive. I felt at home at the gym when they were working there. I felt like I belonged. But when they left, I got so I was less confident in my abilities, and I no longer felt at home at the gym. Workouts suffered. I stopped training with a trainer. I didn't have any close friends there and knew only a few people by name. Contract troubles cropped up as well. It all contributed to my decision to stop going to the gym altogether after a 5-year membership.
Menopause Hit: When menopause hit, hall hell broke loose. If it was edible, I ate it. I could tell myself that it wasn't good for me or that I shouldn't eat so much, but I kept on eating anyway. My motivation tanked so I stopped exercising for the most part. I got a bunch of equipment that I could use at home to exercise, thinking that would motivate me to get going again, but I didn't use it much. My energy level was at rock bottom. I started gaining the weight back that I'd lost through all that hard work. And I was furious with myself for doing it.
Work Increased: Good things started happening in regards to work around the time I left the gym. I found myself with three jobs online, all related to fitness and nutrition, including one working for that training manager I spoke about earlier who I thought may have hired me if given the chance. Well, my hunch was right after all. :-) Wow! I was psyched, but I also was sitting most of the day as everything I did involved computer work. Since I enjoyed the work, I would sit there for hours researching, writing, answering people's questions, etc. This inactivity just exacerbated the problem. But I still loved the work and that I was making more money than I had in quite some time. Considering my husband had been switched to part-time during this period, my increased work was welcome by us both. I just hated that I was so inactive and didn't have as much time to exercise. The thought of exercise just brought me down because I couldn't figure out how I was going to fit it into my schedule. This made me anxious, which made me eat more. I find it amazing that I didn't gain 100 lbs. during this time.
Busy Social Life: Around the time I started faltering a bit fitness-wise, my husband and I started volunteering--a lot. We helped out at area animal shelters, charity events, and sporting events. We had a blast doing it, and most of the time it involved physical movement, so that was great. But it left little time to actually do a full blown tough workout. We also met more people through our volunteer experiences, so that widened our social circle. We have more friends now than we've ever had, I think. It's great. We get together for football-watch parties, birthdays, holidays, walking, community events. It's fun. But it means also that I've had to totally re-work my life. I used to spend most of my time alone so I just did what I needed to do, whenever. Well, now with all sorts of commitments, my way of doing things had to change. How people with a full-time job, friends, community obligations, children and grandchildren do it is beyond me. I've got it pretty easy in comparison, working at home, but I still find it hard to fit all the responsibilities of life in. I welcome the challenge, but it did cause workouts to fall by the wayside. I'm working on that.
Death in the Family: When my husband's mother passed away late last year, everything kind of stopped. The nearly daily walks, weekend hikes, volunteering. We stopped moving, it seemed. Of course, death is something that has to be worked through. We need to take the time to mourn and heal. I understood that. He needs to take time to explore emotions, reminisce, and work through the stages of grief. He's doing well, but we still aren't back to volunteering. It makes sense, though. I read once that you can't help others until you help yourself through your own issues, troubles, feeling. This is our time to heal. There will be plenty of opportunities to be the helper again, in time.
The Time is Now: I started back at the gym at the beginning of the year. I'm working with a trainer again. I can't say that my progress has been as significant as it was 7 years ago when I first stepped into the gym, but I'm regaining my strength and then some. For example, when I left the gym I could shoulder press 20-lb. dumbbells, and now 5 months back I'm close to surpassing that personal record. I used to spend most days of the week at the gym and my workouts took about 2 hours. I don't have that kind of time anymore. But I know I don't have to work out for hours each day to be fit. Everything adds up. I have learned to fit in fitness where I can. Weight loss is so hard during menopause, so I'm not going to freak out about that either. I rarely weigh myself anymore. As long as I'm moving, exercising, eating healthy, and trying not to eat everything in sight, I'll be satisfied.
Does this sound familiar? I understand life getting in the way of fitness, believe me. But it doesn't have to erect a total blockade between you and your fitness routine. Don't freak out over fitness. That will only make things worse. Plan little bouts of fitness in between work and other tasks. Do as much moving at work as possible. At least it's something. Realize you're doing what you can. You can't put your life on hold for fitness, but you also shouldn't put fitness on hold because of life either. It's important to find a balance. And make fitness fun, not a chore. Think of how good you'll feel when your clothes become looser and your step a little lighter. It's worth it.
Let me know what you have done to fit in fitness. Email me at iwrite41@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear from you. Take care.
